One of the most common traps leaders fall into is focusing their energy, time, and thoughts on things they can't control. This not only drains your productivity but also leads to frustration, anxiety, and a sense of helplessness. When leaders fixate on these uncontrollable factors, they lose sight of what they can actually influence, ultimately undermining their effectiveness and well-being.
Who’s in the Hot Seat?
Coaching Client: Allison, Strategy & Storytelling Lead at a small production company
Coaching Challenge: Allison found herself overwhelmed by the external pressures and challenges in her role. From company-wide decisions she disagreed with to unpredictable changes in project scope, Allison spent a significant amount of time worrying about factors beyond her control. This constant focus on the uncontrollable was causing her stress, negatively impacting her ability to lead her team effectively, and leaving her feeling stuck.
A Powerful Exercise to Regain Focus and Control
To help Allison shift her focus, we worked on a practical exercise designed to distinguish between what she could control and what she couldn’t. Here’s how you can implement this exercise in your own leadership journey:
Step 1: Identify Your Challenges Begin by taking a moment to think about your current role and jot down any areas that feel particularly challenging or frustrating. This could be anything from team dynamics to project management issues. The key is to be specific about what’s causing you stress or where you feel a change is needed.
Example: Allison identified that she felt frustrated with the frequent changes in project priorities, which she believed were affecting her team’s productivity and morale.
Step 2: Create Two Columns—What You Can Change vs. What You Cannot Change On a sheet of paper or a digital document, draw two columns. Label one column "What I Can Change" and the other "What I Cannot Change." Begin listing out the aspects of your challenge in the appropriate columns.
Example: In Allison’s case:
- In the "What I Can Change" column, she wrote: "My response to priority changes," and "How I communicate these changes to my team."
- In the "What I Cannot Change" column, she noted: "Company-wide decisions on project priorities," and "Client demands that cause these changes."
Step 3: Focus on Actionable Steps Now, it’s time to focus on what you can change. For each item in the "What I Can Change" column, brainstorm specific, actionable steps you can take to make improvements.
Example: Allison decided to:
- Implement a clear communication strategy to keep her team informed and engaged despite the changes.
- Create a flexible project management system that could adapt to shifting priorities without causing stress or confusion.
- Schedule regular check-ins with her team to address any concerns and provide support.
Final Thoughts: Shift Your Focus for Greater Impact
By concentrating on the aspects of her role that she could control, Allison felt more empowered and less overwhelmed. This shift in focus not only improved her leadership effectiveness but also positively impacted her team's morale and productivity. The exercise allowed her to regain a sense of agency, transforming challenges into opportunities for growth.
Now, it’s your turn. Take a few moments today to try this exercise and see how it can help you regain control, reduce stress, and enhance your leadership presence. Remember, focusing on what you can change is the key to making a real impact in your role.