Let’s talk about something that doesn’t get nearly enough attention in leadership: self-trust.
You know that voice—the one that makes you hesitate before making a decision, second-guess your instincts, or replay conversations in your head, wondering if you said the right thing. When you don’t fully trust yourself, self-doubt takes over, making decision-making exhausting and leadership feel heavier than it should.
That’s exactly what Dawn, a Showrunner for a successful television series, was experiencing. She had built an incredible career in the industry, yet every decision—whether it was hiring a director, adjusting the storyline, or managing production challenges—felt like a high-stakes gamble. Instead of trusting her expertise, she analyzed every choice to the point of exhaustion. She worried about making the wrong call, disappointing her team, or not living up to the title she had worked so hard for.
Through coaching, we uncovered that Dawn didn’t have a confidence problem—she had a self-trust problem. And when leaders don’t trust themselves, they lead cautiously instead of powerfully. The good news? Self-trust is something you can build. Here’s how.
1. Make Decisions with Conviction
Dawn’s Challenge: Dawn was stuck in analysis paralysis. Every decision—big or small—felt overwhelming, and she constantly sought reassurance before moving forward.
Why This Strategy Works: Great leaders don’t just make decisions—they stand behind them. Self-trust grows when you allow yourself to decide, learn from the outcome, and move forward.
How You Can Apply It:
- Set a time limit for making decisions. If you overthink, ask yourself, “Will more time bring more clarity, or am I just delaying?”
- Own your choice. Remind yourself: Every decision teaches me something—there is no perfect answer.
- Avoid over-explaining. Confident leaders don’t justify every decision—they make the call and trust the process.
Example: Dawn started implementing a 24-hour rule for mid-level decisions. Instead of overanalyzing, she gave herself one day to decide and then moved on. Within weeks, she felt more in control and realized that most of her choices were strong—she just needed to stop questioning them.
2. Trust Your Problem-Solving Ability
Dawn’s Challenge: When unexpected challenges came up in production, Dawn’s first reaction was to panic. She felt pressure to find the perfect solution, which often led to hesitation instead of action.
Why This Strategy Works: Leaders who trust themselves don’t panic when things go wrong—they trust their ability to figure things out. The more you act instead of freeze, the more you prove to yourself that you can handle whatever comes your way.
How You Can Apply It:
- Reframe setbacks. Instead of thinking, “This is going wrong,” shift to “What’s my next best move?”
- Use past wins as proof. When you feel stuck, remind yourself of a time when you solved a tough problem—you did it before, and you can do it again.
- Take small, quick actions. Confidence grows when you take steps forward instead of waiting for the “right” solution.
Example: Dawn once faced a last-minute script issue that could have derailed an episode. Instead of spiraling, she reminded herself: “I’ve handled rewrites under pressure before—I can do it again.” She gathered her team, identified quick fixes, and got the episode back on track. The challenge wasn’t that she didn’t have the skills—it was that she needed to trust them.
3. Validate Yourself First
Dawn’s Challenge: Dawn constantly looked to others for reassurance—whether it was executives, writers, or production staff. She relied on external validation instead of trusting her own judgment.
Why This Strategy Works: The strongest leaders don’t need constant approval. They trust their own instincts first and use external feedback as information—not validation.
How You Can Apply It:
- Check in with yourself first. Before asking others for their opinion, ask: “What do I think about this?”
- Limit how often you seek reassurance. If you feel the urge to ask for feedback, wait an hour and see if you still need it.
- Own your wins. Instead of brushing off compliments, practice saying, “Thank you, I worked hard on that.”
Example: Dawn started a new habit: before asking anyone for their thoughts on a creative decision, she wrote down her own reasoning first. This small shift helped her realize that she already had strong instincts—she just needed to trust them.
Your Next Move: Strengthen Your Self-Trust
Your ability to lead isn’t about never having doubt—it’s about trusting yourself enough to move forward despite it. When you make decisions with conviction, trust your ability to solve problems, and validate yourself first, you create the foundation for strong, confident leadership.
Dawn’s breakthrough wasn’t about suddenly feeling fearless—it was about knowing that she didn’t have to be fearless to make great decisions. She just had to trust that she could handle whatever came next.
Now, it’s your turn.
✓ What’s one decision you’ve been overthinking? Make the call.
✓ The next time a challenge pops up, remind yourself of a past win.
✓ Catch yourself when you seek external validation—then validate yourself first.
You already have what it takes. It’s time to start trusting yourself
About Phyllis Reagin I’m Phyllis Reagin, a doctoral-trained behaviorist, Executive & Leadership Coach and leading expert in Imposter Syndrome. I have coached hundreds of leaders (from Netflix, Warner Bros., Amazon Studios, Paramount, CNN, and more) to lead with greater confidence.
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